DICX Countdown

Friday, November 19, 2010

Latest entry has an international flavor

The latest application:Team Komrade, has an international flavor.  Keep 'em comming!
Just a reminder, if you'd like to complete, shoot me an email at cxmailto:cxczar@gmail.com.  Only preregestraints will be allowed to compete. 
Mama-


I vant to teel you aboot zees amaazing seeclokross competitionne een mein new mutherland, Deetroit. Eet ist ein special competitionne zat ist wit no sissies, nein! Eet ist un competitionne free wit posseeble free bier!!! Das ist gut. Zare ist ein problem, I moost give appleecation wit email message to cx czar. Zee czar ist nicht ein diktator who keel peeple but ist ein fine geentleman who organeeeze ze competitionne. I vant soo bad to do seeclokross competitionne wit mein komrades Erik und Aaron. Pleeze send beest lucky wishes und sum hofbrauhaus bier. I doing vell in Amerika.

Ich liebe dich,

Wolfgang  Metz, Erik , Aaron

Team Komrade

Monday, November 15, 2010

More entry letters:

Ive decided to post some the the best race applications... I think we are attracting the right element!

Wayne wrote

Here's why I hope you let me in:

1. I am sick of my up-state friends telling me how shitty Detroit is and how cool their little backwaters are.
2. I will bring my wife, my kids and my mom to the race. They all have cowbells.
3. I have ridden on 40 degree banking before and promise not to embarrass you.
4. I have eclectic tastes in beer and will bring a variety to share.
5. I consumed more than two pints of beer during the Ice Cross race.
6. SS or geared, you decide.
7. I will try to bring some Tri-Geeks from Fraser.
8. Tequila makes me halluciante.
9. Bikes in December, what could be better?
10. My CX beard is peaking!

Thanks for looking,

Wayne


David the Firefighter wrote:


Think of me as a moving barrier that the sandbagging B's have to pass at least once per race. Besides, how great would it be to have an EMT right there on the course when somebody has a heart attack?


Michael sealed his application with one sentence and a photo:

Because I can offer crowd pleasing dismounts such as this:




And my personal favorite, From Jason Goodin, who may have earned himself a call-up with such a great email.

Dear CX Czar--

I've been thinking about the reasons why your invitational race needs me.  I'm sure you've been thinking about it as well.

First off, I should tell you a bit about myself because I'm sure a little background knowledge about me will shed all necessary light on why my presence is integral to a successful race on December 4th.  There are some very important facts about me that are pertinent to the matter at hand.

First off, my helmet matches my sunglasses, which match my shoes, which match my bar tape, which matches my bike.  I have a team kit.  People know me.  At times my home smells of rich mahogany.  I have a chiseled facial appearance and am in shape.  I definitely look the part of a 'cross racer.  However, the important thing to note about all of this is that I basically suck at racing cyclocross, with my best finish yet this season being a top 10.  That's definitely not worthy of "the look".  I am, in short, a poseur.  I even write the word posuer in a way that says "yep, he's a poser".  Why is this important?  Because if I am a part of your race others will look at me on the line and say "Holy s--t!  There's competition here.  That's a guy I have to mark."  However, in .2763 laps when they're blowing by me and kicking my arse at the end of the race, the other racers will feel great about themselves and the race will experience a groundswell of collective self esteem.  Yes, I will make the other racers feel great about themselves.

Secondly, I am short.  That's an understatement.  I'm borderline hobbit at 5'4".  That qualifies me on the cycling affirmative action scale as a "protected class".  You can keep the cycling authorities happy by filling a spot in your race with a token "little person".  I suggest that little person be me.

Thirdly, I live in Kalamazoo and work a short 6 minute walk from Bell's Brewery.  The reason that this is important is fairly straightforward.  Bells=great beer.  I=easy access to great beer.  Me at your race means I bring great beer with me.  And I share.

Fourthly, my last name is Goodin and my nickname is Dwight.  Dwight Goodin.  When the results list comes out people will be like "Damn, that CX Czar puts on a hell of an invitational.  The MLB great Dwight Gooden showed up.  Czar must put on such a great event that it brings world class athletes."  Celebrity appeal, even if a facade.

There are many, many more reasons, but I think you'll find those aforementioned sufficient.  So, in summary:
  1. I make people feel good about themselves as they kick my poseur arse.
  2. You fulfill an affirmative action quota for the "little people" segment.
  3. Bells beer.  Needs no further explanation.
  4. Celebrity appeal.  Dwight Goodin in 2010; Zdenek Stybar in 2011.  Damn that's good.
'Nuff said.  I look forward to your response.  My wife does as well because she wants to ensure that she won't have to comfort my tears for a night if your response is that I am not a part of your race.  And I guess that's a fifth reason---Hell hath no fury like a woman who has to wipe up her husband's tears or a woman scorned.  I don't remember which it is.  Too many Two Hearted Ales.

Best,
~Jason "Dwight" Goodin

Keep the applications coming.  & check out the

Thursday, November 11, 2010

The Tree Farmers Have entered the Fray!

I received the first accepted application from the founders of (in my humble opinion) the most fun mountain bike event in Michigan... Team Tree Farm!

Their application is so good I'm considering amending the rules to accommodate a five man team.

Who's going to be Next?

I'd like to throw my hat in the ring for the cyclocross race you are proposing. I'd also like to enter my teammates as well....we'd need 5 entries and here is why you want us:

11 - Our list starts at 11
10 - We invented drinking beer and riding.
9 - We'll make sure the tequila shortcut gets plenty of use.
8 - We bring our own cowbell/cheering section.
7 - Did I mention we invented this shit?
6 - Guaranteed not to win but we may drink all the beer.
5 - Clown colored jerseys make great photo ops!
4 - We have multiple beer connections.....
3 - We are Team Tree Farm; we are typing this from a bar!
2 - You come to our race, we'll come to yours!

And the number one reason......


1 - if we don't get in, we'll crash it anyway

Justin
Dave
Dave
Dave
Ben

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Invitational Cyclocross - December 4th 2010 - Detroit Michigan

I've decided to host my own Cyclocross.

For the last several years I've competed in or witnessed some of the most unique cyclocross events in North America and would like to incorporate the best of these events into our own quazi-competitive event in the motor city.

My race team, The RACING GREYHOUNDS!,  has an internal racing series that is made up of numerous public and private events designed to encourage cross discipline competition and team comradere (as well as internal trash talk and squabbling).  These events include Time trials, Criteriums, mountain bike races, Triathlons, duathlons, as well as night mountain bike races, Iceman and of course cyclocross races like the Mad Anthony.   As CX Team Captain, it is my responsibility to create a unique season ending cyclocross event that will follow those guidelines as well as punish all of those not familiar with the delicate art of Cyclocross (I'm looking at you tri-team)   While planning this event, it was obvious that the best part of racing cyclocross is the fan/ racer interaction.  It was obvious that we needed to have two races: The first for Greyhounds Team Points race and the Second to celebrate all of our friends and competitors that made this past year great.

For the better part of a year I have been scheming er... examining unique events for which to draw upon.

Inspirational events included (but are not limited to):
 Bilenky Junkyard Cyclocross Race



Single Speed Cyclocross World Championships



Cross Vegas



What will this Cyclocross race have to offer?


First of all, it will be a cyclocross race... designed to favor those of us that race with drop bars and skinny tires.  The course will have rolling hills, off camber turns, barrier sections (w/ real barriers no PVC) fast sections to recover and brutal run ups designed to challenge you and stimulate your senses.  It will not contain miles of flat tape mazes going back and forth over a soccer fields.  If you finish the race without thinking "That was the coolest cyclocross course I've ever ridden" I didn't do my job.  


This is not a UCI or USA Cycling event, so all of those silly rules that limit your endorphin release like the number of barriers that you can put in succession or limit food handoffs under a certain temperature will all be eliminated.  There will be no "Fun Governors" at this race.  Basic cross rules will apply, just not the stupid ones.  Also, there is no "One Day License Fee... In fact there is no fee what so ever.  That's right, this race is "Free" as in beer.


What the race will have:
45 minutes + a lap
A prologue
Preems, preems and more Preems!
A high speed section with 40 degree banking specifically built for cycling (hint) 
Tequila Shot Shortcut
A Death Spirial to end all death spirals 
Beer/dollar Grabs
Team Competition
Fabulous prizes**
Post Race Thaw out at local micro brewery just up the road


Sound Awesome?  That's 'cause it will be. 


How do you enter?
 I'll be taking the first thirty or so applicants to email me at cxczar@gmail.com  Please include elaborative verbage as to why you deserve to race in a cool event like this.  Please include team affiliations (real or not).   Maybe you are an blindingly fast racer, maybe you are an awesome dude to hang out with, maybe you'll bring a large aluminum container of a frosty malt beverage and are looking to share.  The point is, be fun, be creative... the  best responses will receive a call up to the best starting positions.  I'll reply with details, Like time and place.  


Also, in the next week,  I'll doing my best to contact bike shops & racing teams, encouraging them to compete.  If your team hasn't received any information, just direct them to this blog & my email.


Sincerely,


Jeffro
AKA: the CX Czar