Wednesday, August 3, 2011

ever heard a more appropriate cyclocross name?

-I have a friend (yes, the one!) who should secure an invite this year.  Why?  His name is, in all seriousness, Hans Juntunen.  I repeat: Hans Juntunen.  If you've ever heard a more appropriate cyclocross name (minus Zdnek Stybar) I would be shocked.  With a name like that, you have to be a cross racer.
Hans Juntunen is an awesome CX name, I did recently see him race at the Detroit Criterium where he narrowly avoided the Cat Five carnage at the finish line. I caught the action and have posted it to youtube

Watching the video, Hans can say that where he races, pain and destruction follows... literally. I have added him to this years event. I look forward to seeing the both of you at this years event.
The Cx Czar.
-I'd like to enter this year's invitational again.  As you recall, I'm a wee little man.  You probably had an idea of that based upon my entry to last year's event, but the mere sight of me probably had you laughing in your boots thinking, "holy smokes, that guy is like the midget in Fantasy Island!". 
You see, I don't believe that those barriers were exactly UCI legal height last year.  I know that because I had to sling my bike over them and then ask someone to let me stand in their cupped hands so I could pull myself over top of the barrier, only to fall the 22" to the ground afterward.  I am practicing on UCI legal height (or semi so) barriers in anticipation of this race.  I will be bringing Pat McQuaid along to measure this year's barriers.  Even if they're legal he'll likely put bans on your unsanctioned race anyway, because that's how the UCI rolls and I really would like to read about this race and McQuaid's dictator antics in Velonation.   ~Jason G.


Regarding your threat of bringing Pat McQuaid to calibrate my barriers... you forget that the CX Czar & The Detroit Invitational Cyclocross operates beyond the rules and laws of any cycling sanctioning body... Like it's own soverign cyclocross nation. If you bring Mr McQuaid, I will refer him to my Oprichnik (Google it) to address your concerns....Seriously, I welcome the company of Mr McQuaid, perhaps he can learn something about event planning.

The fact of the matter is I intentionally made that single barrier larger than the UCI standard. The D.I.CX is about pushing it's competitors beyond your comfort zone. In your case, that comfort zone is a few inches beyond the length of your inseam.

The CX Czar is not without compassion. Considering your diminutive stature and penchant for 70's TV, I can make a "reasonable accomidation" and nail a shoelace to the top of the barriers so you can imagine that you are Patrick Duffy in the obstacle course of "Battle of the Network Stars".
The CX Czar