Wednesday, December 1, 2010

The Rules!

Race Location: Dorias Park corner of Mound and Outer drive

(Park on the south side of the park on Outer Drive)

Race times:
10AM : Racing Greyhounds Team Point Series CX
11:30AM : Detroit Invitational Cyclocross


Prior to the race, riders will be expected to check in at the tent at the top of the hill & pick up their number plate and chip. Number plate should be pinned to the racers jersey in such a way that it does not break the skin and cause discomfort... there will be plenty of discomfort in during the race. The number plate is simply there so that the event announcer may identify you and have fun at your expense. The left side is preferred, but to be honest, I've got bigger worries & I wont make a big deal about it. The chip is very important as it will decide finishing order. It will be carried on your person and presented to the starter upon finishing the race.

As the promoter I retain the right to reject entry for any bicycle that I deem too much of a piece of sh!t to race in my race. All recumbants are automatically disqualified on that principle.

Tandems count as one bike, but have two riders. They will recieve one card per lap, but have to do two shots if they take the Tequila Shot shortcut. (just in case it comes up)

Cheating - Is Strongly discouraged! By cheating I mean cutting the course or riding in a manner that limits, obstructs or endangers your fellow racers or the fans. That's pretty much it. First offenses will result in a stop & Go penalty, further violations will result in disqualification... unless you are so behind that it really doesnt matter. If you are an engineering genius and have discovered a way to conceal an electric motor in a traditional cyclocross frame, more power to you... If you are a local masters 35+ racer that was banned from USA Cycling, please don't show up with a clean sample of urine and ask to race... I don't really care if your doping, I just dont want to deal with the urine. In fact if I can get through the day without having to deal with anyones' blood, urine or other bodily fluid, I'll consider it a success

The race:

The race Will be approximatly 45 minutes, we will take the time of the first lap and approximate the number of laps to the finish of the race. The laps remaining will be displayed on a clip board near the Start/Finish Line. the Start of the last lap, the race promotors will yell "One to Go" so listen for it! Prizes will be awarded to the first three racers to cross the line after the last lap and present their "Chip"  The race promoter retains the right to cut the race short for impending emergencies such as overly inclemet weather, law enforcement intervention or running out of beer.

Race officials will request alert racers to the start ten minutes before the race.

The Course:

The Course Will be marked with Flags & caution tape. It should be fairly intuitive but if you have questions, please ask before the race. FYI the course will run counter clockwise. The caution tape will be be on shorter stakes than your are accustom... this is one of the cost concessions we had to make in order to keep the entry fees low. We dont think it is that big of a deal. Remember barriers ment to be crossed and tape not to be crossed.

There are a few unique features within the course that are listed below:

Prologue - Racers will line up at the starting line, follow the race promoters instructions and complete half a lap. First competitor to cross the Start/Finish line will win a preem (prize) The starting line will be the on the concrete pad at the top of the Soapbox derby hill.

The Tequila Shot Shortcut - If a racer so chooses, they may opt to take the "Tequila shot short-cut". This option replaces about a hundred yards and a set of barriers in exchange for a shot of tequila. The entrance to the TSS is to the left hand side of the start finish line. You must come to a complete stop, clip out at least one foot, do your shot, then proceed after you are instructed. If you so wish, you may take the shortcut every lap. (we don't encourage it) Please dont inquire as to the quality of the tequila. 

-Minors are forbidden by law from taking advantage of the tequila shot shortcut and shouldn't even be in the race. They are however encouraged to spectate and cheer us on. 

Death Spiral w/Intersection - there is a fine line between genius and insanity. This may be the look both ways and proceed with caution. Traffic rules apply. yield to the racer on your right.

Fork - Life is about decisions One path has barriers, the other hairpins... which is better, you decide?

Draw Poker:

In addition to the traditional "Race" there will be a draw poker game. Starting with the completion of the first lap, riders will have an opportunity to grab a standard playing card from one of our two lovely "Dealers" standing at the start/Finish line. One card per bike/ per lap. At the end of the race the racer with the best five card Poker hand will win. Faster riders may collect more than five cards (one for each lap finished) giving them an advantage of more cards to select their hand, but only the top five cards will count (except in the case of tiebreakers)

-Because of the number of racers we will have to use multiple decks, so improbable hands such as "five Aces" is possible and will be scored accordingly.

-The Tequila shot shortcut will not prevent you from collecting a card for each lap.

-If you drop or lose your cards while on the course and someone picks them up "finders keepers - losers weepers" rules apply. A card is fair game anywhere outside of the concrete Start/Finish platform.

-Spectators may pick up dropped cards provided they hold them up for a handout that is available to all riders.

Dollar / Beer / Bacon grabs:

Are awesome and encouraged! Plus some my have strips of paper that can be redeemed for a prize
Side wagering -

Two water bottle are available at the registration table if you care to toss in a bit of cabbage to "Raise the stakes" One will be for the overall finish the other for the best poker hand. Of course there is nothing to prevent you from such personal wagers such as "$50 bucks the Sterling kid picks his nose"  just don't let me know about it. 
...Plus any rules that I can think of between now and then!
Respectfully submitted:

Jeff Wood
AKA: The CX Czar

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