Monday, December 2, 2013


Congratulations to Ladies Winner: Gabriella Sterne and 3-peat Men's winner: Jesse Gould!  As part of the ladies championship, next year, the port-o-johns will carry Gabriella's name.    As men's champion, a donation in Jesse's name will be placed in the Kwame Kilpatrick 2041 re-election fund.  

I always like to take the day following the race, shut down and soak it all in.  Take a look at what worked, what didn't and lay the groundwork for next year.  Race day is by far, the happiest day of the year for me.  Without getting too mushy, it is extremely rewarding to have a hundred of people thank you for putting on the race.  Fact is, it's not that difficult, thanks to all the help that I get from my friends.

Special thanks to Mike Belanger!  Mike is sadistic soul who designs the course.  He has carte blanche to do whatever he likes, because 99% of the time it is awesome  (death spiral on the side of hill: Mike's Idea... Run-down after the velodrome: Mike's Idea...  See where I am going with this) Mike puts as much time & effort into the race as I do, and deserves as much
Think of him as my Rasputin (wait, don't... that's a horrible analogy)

Special thanks to Jeff Plotzke.  Aka: Beaker.  Jeff is my registration & timing guy.  He developed the Frankensteinian timing system that works remarkably well.  While the rest of us were whooping it up during the main race, Jeff had his nose in a laptop monitor, ensuring that the results were accurate and timely. We will post the full results on this blog in the next couple of days.  Jeff has a lot on his plate at the moment, so please be patient.

Special thanks to all the Greyhounds and Elvii that took time from their weekend & holiday to help mow, remove trash, set up the track, deal cards, sling tequila and tear down.  There are too many of you to list, but as I mentioned to you last week: If you ever need anything: help you move, hide a body, marry your sister.  Just say the word!

And thank you for everyone who came and raced, made noise or sat silently and just smiled.

Personally, I think this was our greatest race to date. here are some of my thoughts on next year.

First & Foremost, next year we will "incentivize" homemade & custom Skinsuits.  There were a few gems out there, especially in the ladies class(Queen of Hearts & the Cheetah) . Kudo's to Santa and the bikini skinsuit which cannot be unseen (as worn by Tom Carpenter).  Break out the needle & thread, because next year there will be prizes for "stylepoints".

Some of the veterans may have noticed that the Shortcut was not as big of an advantage as in previous years.  This was by design, as we reserve the right to keep you guessing.

Note to self: Move the "Emily Batty Kissing Booth" to a more prominent spot... invite Liz Hatch.

On a related note: On a couple occasions in my lifetime, I have been able to slowly crawl my way out of the bottomless pit that is "The Friend Zone".  It was a long and arduous process, but on each occasion, I was able to transform a one sided, emasculating exercise in frustration into a volatile, drama filled, codependent relationship.  My best friend refers to this process as "Wearing them down".  I intend to use this same skill set to make the "Emily Batty Kissing Booth" a reality. (if she'll only respond to my tweets)

There have been some rumors regarding improprieties in the Shortcut lane.  Now, I'm in no position to judge any man or woman, but I believe I made it clear that cheating is something that I will not tolerate in my race.  Look for me to address these accusations in full investigation to be documented in a separate blog post.  I will address the age old question of cheating or more specifically: Spitting vs. swallowing.

Thank you all again for making this a great day.  I can't believe that next year will be the 5th year... We'll have to make it a blow out!

P.S. several of you mentioned that you enjoy my writing.  I will be venturing across the country over Christmas break, with my trusty St. Bernard mix, Lebowski.  We'll be passing through Breck, Moab, Zion, Big Sur, Bonneville and many other places.   Car camping in my Element for the majority of the trip.  I'll be documenting the whole thing on this blog.  And on my twitter account: @cxczar.

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