DICX Countdown

Monday, November 18, 2013

I am a student at a large Midwestern University...

Hi Cx Czar,
Would you recommend this race to a first time CX racer?  If not, could you recommend a few local races that are beginner friendly?  I don't want to impede the progress of the good racers, so I would start at the very back. I saw pics of last year's race and it looked pretty challenging.

Or should I leave the bike at home and go see if Emily Batty shows up.
Thanks 
JuniorBooBoo


Dear Junior,

The truth is, there is no such thing as "Beginner Friendly" cyclocross race.  Cyclocross  Any promoter that would reduce the difficulty of a course to accommodate first time racers is doing a disservice to the sport.  Cyclocross, like bourbon, is best when it is not watered down.  

I will use an analogy, that with an email of "JuniorBooBoo", you are probably more familiar : 
Attempting to loose your virginity.

Regardless of how much time and energy you expend, nothing will prepare you for what you are about to experience.  You will be confused.   You won't know where to go or what to do.  You are going to stumble, fall, possibly hurt yourself (and someone else).  You'll end up shivering, heart pounding and covered in your own snot and possibly vomit... that's if you do it right.   Sure we can rationalize that it might have been better if we were with Shannon Elizabeth or Tara Reid (or both)*.  It's all moot anyway, because the point is that you didn't know what to expect before and now you have a little bit better idea.  

If I were to dumb down the course, I would be like the creepy father that takes his son to a prostitute on his 16th birthday.**  Sure the seal is technically broken, but it's not the same.  There is a lot of interpersonal communication that is lost in this scenario.  Sure, you may be the type of person that enjoys taking credit for other's efforts, but they are called "narcissists" and are officially #1 on Ms. Batty's list of "Turn Off's"  

So, to answer your question, yes, the Detroit Invitational is as fine as race as any to be your first.  

 I don't want to impede the progress of the good racers.

Don't you worry about that... that's my job

Should I leave the bike at home and go see if Emily Batty shows up.

Emily Batty's list of "Turn Offs"***
2) Posers

Better bring the bike. ; )  I'll register you... Would you like me to choose a better nickname?

Jeff Wood
aka Cx Czar

*Shooting in the dark with the pop culture references since I don't know your age.
** I did not invent nor do I support this process of achieving manhood... but we all know of one guy who went through this.  
*** This will probably be a blog post in itself.

1 comment:

  1. Hey Junior,
    I popped my cherry on this race last year. Great place to start, and trust me, if tequila shots and run ups don't put you in the mood for some lovin', you maybe be in more trouble than first thought

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